The Streets

The Surgens - live at The Green Man, Stamford

Having met Pat on Friday at the wedding, I thought it would be a nice idea to go along and see his band, The Surgens on Sunday, since they were playing a gig in Stamford. I had never seen them play live, and had heard a couple of tracks on the myspace site, and liked what I heard. It was also an opportunity to see more of Pat, and make up for a little lost time - although for most of the proceddings, he was on stage making some sort of noise - usually through a loud hailer, but sometimes with a saw.

I was a big fan of their previous incarnation, Plastic Hip, indeed for my own pleasure I remixed Dumb Cowboy back in the day. The Surgens though are a more stripped down, rawer sound, eschewing samples and synths in favour of a sparser, but very dense, organic rock n roll cum country cum blues cum rockabilly sound. Either way, it was f*cking noisy and I liked it.

Barry said the sound reminded him of sand, and thats not a bad description, theres a desert feel to what they do. If Ed Gein had made musical instruments from the bones of his victims, instead of furniture, this is what he would have played. But don't think for a moment that this was in anyway goth or death metal, you misunderstand me - the music was as warm and alive as you or I, with a full bloodied emotional content to the lyrics, it just had a vague wiff of putrefaction to it, probably enhanced by the prehistoric amps and kit. Most of them are bald as well.

The gig was well attended, and it was clear that at least some of the audience were regulars at their gigs, having clearly built up a bit of a following that seemed broad in its demographic. They have found some noteriety, in the higher echelons of celebrity too, having played a live set for Mark Lamar on Radio 2.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get any decent pictures, my camera isn't much cop in dark conditions, even there was blazing hot sunshine outside, so these rather crap ones will have to suffice.
It was a good day generally, Hel was due to come, but couldn't make it, Barry on the other hand could. What time we spent not listening to the quality choonage was spent chatting with Pat, Begonia and the Latin entourage. A very pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon and I will be seeing The Surgens play live again soon as I can. In the meantime I'm going to be getting my hands on the superlative Wolf Man 7", which is so zany, you need one of those Jukebox adapters to play it on your turntable spindle.

Anyway, best you check them out yourself as I'm not doing them any justice here with my babbling. Check them out at:

http://www.thesurgens.co.uk/

http://www.myspace.com/thesurgens

Mickey and Sarah's Wedding Day

Yesterday afternoon, my old friend Mickey King got married to Sarah Brown. It was a glorious sunny day, entirely in keeping with the last couple of weeks. According to the cars temperature gauge, it was 33'c outside and there wasn't much let up. I eschewed the usual tie, wore my shirt untucked and wore a jacket for some of the day. Hel was similarly sensibly attired, in a very light, thin mauve number.

It was a double whammy for me, because the wedding and reception were held in Whittlesey, where I spent most of my early years, before moving away aged 7. Entering the town is like entering the back streets of my memory. All of that town is hardwired into me, its hardly changed. I used to spend a lot of time wandering those streets, to a child it was a fascinating place to wander, full of the past, full of decay and meandering back streets full of character, sounds and smells. You know how all of your senses as a child are so much more acute and potent and yet your memories so dream like? Going back there is like walking back into a dream you once had. Its slightly surreal, and in fact Whittlesey is a slightly surreal place. I was able to bore Helen as we walked from the church to Sarah's family home for the reception, pointing out my schools, the home of my once best friend (immediately opposite the church) and an old vicarage, the grounds in which I once had a playschool picnic.

The ceremony was very pleasant, the choice of readings good. Mick got a little emotional giving his vows and then we were out on the street, all of us hiking up the street to the family seat, led by a banjo player, a tuba player and a clarinet player, wearing cricket whites and playing old school jazz! For a moment I thought we were in New Orleans!

I'll be honest, I'm not always a big fan of weddings, but this one was a lot of fun. The reception was held in the grounds of Sarah's fathers home, which was a beautiful early 20th C red brick house in a huge, beautiful garden, which accommodated a massive marquee. I must have walked past that very house many times on the way to school back in the day. After a few Pims in the glorious sunshine things kicked off very nicely. Another old friend Pat was there with his lady Begonia, and I thoroughly enjoyed their company for the duration. I was reminded really of why I enjoyed spending time with Pat and how I have done so little of that lately, something which must now be remedied.

As for the bride and groom, both looked phenomenal, and were full of wit, verve and genuine happiness, a wonderful day and I wish we could have stayed longer and inevitably spent more time with Mick and Sarah. Another situation which must be quickly remedied...

The best of luck and happiness to Mr & Mrs King.

(As an aside, you'll be delighted to know that the spell check felt that Sarah's name should be replaced with Karachi...)

Modern Toss - Space argument

A little while ago, I discovered a book called Modern Toss which made me pea (*"&^$%) myself with laughter. Just a series of one page, naively drawn cartoons about how modern life has gone 'tits up'. I bought it for a few friends, and then Mum & Dad bought it for my last birthday. I still, even now pick it up and snigger on a weekly basis.

Well, now its on telly too, and one of my favourite recurring 'skits' is 'Space Argument'...

Peas.

Look North is our local regional news programme.

Tonight they went on the streets of Lincolnshire, and were asking the population about what their favourite kind of peas were: Fresh, frozen, mushy or marrowfat?

Do I need to add anything to that? They were doing a vox pops on peas. Its all kicking off in the Lebanon, but Look North were asking people about peas. Specifically, what their favourite kind of pea was. One girl liked sugar on hers, one chap liked marrowfat because the liquid soaked into his mash. One bloke didn't even like peas - much laughter. Bombings in Deli. Peas. Indoneasian tsunami. Peas. £100 annual TV license fee. Peas.

The long awaited return of Lunchtime Aspergers!

22. Orbital - Middle of Nowhere

This album ties with Orbital's previous album, In Sides. In terms of quality, it sees the Hartnoll brothers at the peak of their game for the last time. Its not as dark as its predecessor, although it has its moments, the screaming woman shouting 'can anyone hear me!' is one of them! But its definitely a more upbeat album in terms of the rhythm's and basslines. The only slight let down is Stylee, which seems to be a poorly conceived novelty track. The whole thing is composed of sampled Stylaphone - what's the point? If it sounded good, then fair enough, but as it is, it just seems a rather self indulgent end to an excellent album.

Sadly, from here on in, and after the pinnacle, the only way is down....

23. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
With the death of Syd Barret last week, this seems like an opportune moment to drop this one into the Top 50. He wasn't involved with the band at this time of course, but at least one of the songs is about him. Shine On You Crazy Diamond most definitely is. This is an exceptional album, seemingly about the past and nostalgic to the hilt. The synth washes seem to borrow from the German scene of the time, recollecting the likes of Tangerine Dream, over which you have superb emotive guitar and wonderfully melancholic vocals. Brilliant. Not a bad track.

24. Vangelis - Blade Runner soundtrack
A brilliant movie, with brilliant soundtrack that stands up in its own right as a listening album. This is rich and atmospheric, and if you've seen Blade Runner, it has the added advantage of stirring memories of its rich imagery and landscapes. I wonder how much of the movies dense atmospheres would be quite as smoggy and fragrant without the greeks ethnic tinged and melancholic accompaniment. The ethnic elements are as diverse as you would expect from LA in 2012, there are middle eastern rhythm's against oriental mandolins. This theme of juxtaposition continues with Vangelis' mix of electronic sounds against traditional percussion and bells, again a fair representation of the crumbling, yet retrofit buildings of downtown LA. There is a definite romantic feel to the tunes on here, most obviously with the saxophone led Love Theme, but also in Memories of Green and the tear jerking Tears in Rain. When you listen to this, the last track on the album, you realise how much of the emotion of Batty's death is in the music. As a soundtrack its utterly integral. Can you imagine the opening sequence of the film, with the giant eye, the flight over 'Hades' and the eventual arrival at Tyrell's pyramid with anything other than those bombastic timpani and soaring synth? No, nor could I. But as an album in its own right, it is just as potent.

25. Underworld - Beaucoup Fish
I bought Beaucoup Fish in Malaysia, in one of the malls in Penang whilst on holiday with then girlfriend, Ivy. Its actually quite hard to buy anything out there that's not a pirate - I managed to track one down! I had bought 'Second Toughest in The Infants' some years previously, and whilst it was ok, it didn't really blow me away as I'd hoped. Then, Push In was released as a single and I bought the album on the basis of that. I wasn't disappointed. Where STITI used a lot of break beats, this album is a more straight forward drum machine and synth job, There's no pretence in these tracks, no real attempt at production super wizardry, which is fine. Its not about that. I'd hesitate to say the tunes were naive, because they're not, they're simple certainly, but oddly potent. The repetitive piano chords on Push In are driving and catchy, the Morroda influenced baseline on King of Snake is similarly simplistic, but driving. Over the top of what would ordinarily be fairly standard dance tracks, are the vocals which single out Underworld as a bit different to their contemporaries. They're almost poetic in nature, and delivered in an almost melodramatic way. My favourite track, Jumbo, is a slight exception, its a slower moody number, oddly intimate with the vocals almost whispered and close to your ear, with a very nice synth chord progression. For a main stream dance album, its oddly moving, in a physical sense certainly (its great to drive to) but also emotionally.

26. Harold Budd - Pavilion of Dreams
This is one of the most recent purchases to appear on here. Harold Budd is a name I stumbled across a number of times, but it was Barry who flagged up this album to me. Its a simple affair, consisting of just 4 long tracks. Budd is a very gifted piano player, who makes as much of his silences as his notes. There is a real space to all of his works, and they are beautifully relaxing to boot. Primarily his tracks are piano led or orientated, but we have female choirs and saxophones on this album as well. Almost jazz, almost classical and almost ambient. Its just lovely.

Lunchtime Aspergers - recap

OK, Lets start off with a recap of all the CDs that have gone before. Remember, these are my Top 50, and they're not in any order. I'm almost half way through, and a new part is coming soon:

808 State - Excel
Brian Eno – Apollo
F242 – Off
Kate Bush – The Kick Inside
FSOL – Lifeforms
Black Dog – Spanners
Black Dog – Bytes
Ry Cooder - Paris Texas
Radiohead – Kid A
Orbital - In Sides
Biosphere – Substrata
Biosphere – Cirque
Aphex Twin – Complete Ambient Works 85-92
Tangerine Dream – Pheadre
Tangerine Dream – Rubycon
Boards of Canada – High Scores
Kraftwerk – Computer World
Art of Noise – Daft
The The – Dusk
Beatles – Magical mystery Tour
NIN – Downward Spiral

We all breathe

"For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts: even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no pre-eminence above a beast; for all is vanity. All go unto one place; all are of the dust and all turn to dust again.""

Ecclesiastes 3:19-20

Silliest named food in the world...

Has to be:

Gado Gado.

My favourite pieces of Who Merchandise Part 1

Yes, I'm a sad bastard, but whilst I'm basking in the glow of the spectacular end of series 2 of Doctor Who, I'm going to start a new semi regular feature. Each installment will feature one of my most treasured pieces of Who merchandise.

This Week - The Sonic Screwdriver

I bought myself this neat little toy, aimed at kids rather than 32 year old men, shortly before my birthday this year. It was on offer, and I simply couldn't resist. Its a pretty accurate model too, with an extendable 'end', realistic sound effects and an ultraviolet light up head. To add to the excitement, there is an interchangeable head at the other extreme, which includes an ultraviolet pen, that, when used in conjunction with the light, enables you to leave secret messages for you friends! Wow!

For those who don't know Doctor Who, in either its original run or in its newly renewed 21st Century form, the sonic screwdriver is one of the lead characters (The Doctor) key devices. Its original purpose was to sonically vibrate locks, hatches, doors, screws etc loose, but over the years it has evolved into a device capable of almost anything! From a Trek style tricorder, to a device for resonating barbed wire till it melts, to a remote control for his TARDIS - it can do them all, depending on the setting!

UPDATE - 12th July
My memory is so crap these days. I've just had an email from Barry, he says he bought me the sonic device for my birthday! Sorry Baz, I'm an Ohsan!

Females

Why do we let them get away with it...?

Because they have breasts. Thats why.

Finally, Who Kicked Tucous

For me, series 2 of Doctor Who (or series 28 if you like) hasn't been as strong as series 1 (or season 27 if you prefer). Somehow the scripts in the first half of the season were a bit puerile and shallow. As things have gone along though, there has been a definite improvement. In fact, circa episode 8 onwards, I would say all episodes were either good or excellent, as Tennant got into the swing of the role and the scripts started to take off a bit.

tonight's episode, the final installment of season 2, called Doomsday was absolutely brilliant. Everything that you'd ever want to see in Who was right there on the screen, I'm still reeling from it. For those of you who don't want to know the main thrust don't read below....

(Daleks and cybermen fight each other)














Now then, does it get any better than that?

Bird Related Trauma

A couple of weekends ago we had, what can only be described as a 'bird related trauma'. It was the day of the World Cup match between England and Portugal. I went out early in the morning to do my routine 'log run'. We have a good collection of flying fauna, who come back again and again for the food and water we leave out, not to mention several who rightly or wrongly believe that the garden is theirs. I suppose its as much theirs as it is ours and they do the sort of work protecting it that Mindy could only dream of. Or not. By now, they are very used to us, and a couple of blackbirds in particular hop around only feet from us as we sit or go about our business.

You get used to the different sounds they make, and what they mean. Today the blackbirds were up in the hedges making a very urgent 'chip chip chip!' noise, that they only usually make when a cat is near. I've seen them near enough attack a cat in our garden before, admittedly they never make actual contact, but here's certainly much 'running at' the cat in question, who is usually too busy providing Mindy with her next meaty snack to even notice. I should add at this stage that the usual chain of events in the event of a 'chip chip chip!' emergency, is for me to run at said cat whilst Mindy looks nonchalantly on. I can only imagine that she, and the local cats have come to some sort of agreement - you leave the snacks, I'll leave you alone. Anyway, nature has been clever, because in the larger scheme, the way that my, Mindy, the cat and the birds lives dovetails, is beautifully simple and yet majestical in its complexity. I believe this maybe what biologist cleverly refer to as an 'ecosystem'.

As I was coming to the end of my least favourite weekend chore, I spotted what I initially believed to be a particularly large and ovoid shit. It wasn't until I approached that I realised it was moving and that it was in fact a young, 'unflying' baby blackbird. It was also at that point that I realsied what all the commotion was about, today it wasn't about the cat, it was about me and the vulnerable baby. I quickly went inside, and got out of the way of the mother and her offspring. Helen and I watched for some time, from inside the house, hidden as well as we could. At one point I was even able to film the whole scene of the mother flying down with grubs and worms for the young one.


Unfortunately, it became increasingly apparent that this was all she was doing, hunting around the garden for food, flying over to the cheapping young 'un, and then....doing precisely nothing. The food was being presented, but somehow she wasn't actually depositing the food down into his hungry gob. This went on for some time and we decided to retire, just in case our presence, just out of eye and earshot, was causing some sort of problem for her.

We returned to the scene an hour or so later, and were dismayed to see that he had keeled over. I could see Mother, sitting in the tree's, apparently preening herself, so I went to check on him. He was still alive.

I am often torn in these situations, on the one hand the 'don't interfere, let nature take its course' side of my nature, is telling me that there is probably a solid reason for what it happening. Maybe the mother senses that something is wrong with the chick, who will not live anyway. On the flipside, the softer, compassionate side of me wants to get involved and do what I can. In the end, it was that side of me that won out, after all, humans are indeed part of nature too, and its only in my nature to get involved!

For the remaining hour, I had some success in reviving him with some water and small pieces of dog food (which I read were a good bet for young birds). He started to come around, and even started to cheap again a bit. Mindy wasn't the only one taking a keen interest in things, as when he started to cheap a little more, mother suddenly started to move in closer again. I was ready to leave him in her care, feeling I had done what I could, when he suddenly just died.

My guess would be that he was very weak, having had neither water of food for sometime, and just expired from lack of energy.

After I had buried him in the flower bed, Mindy' s final act of respect was to go to the worn spot in the grass where he had sat for so long and drop the biggest poop you had ever seen in the little hollow. Nature....Don't you love it?

Bob's Favourite Toastie - The Parisienne

OK, today I'm going to share with you, my favourtie Toastie, not everyone is so priveleged and I heartily recommend you take notes here and go away and try it. No its not healthy either, so make sure you only have one now and again as a bit of a treat - your taste buds will thank you. I can't take the credit for this one sadly, that goes to a little sandwich/coffee shop in Farringdon, London, very near to where I used to work called Benugo's. They called it the Parisienne, whether they were the first to make it I don't know, I just know that its yummy.

1. Take a frying pan and stick it on the hob, don't turn on the heat just yet.

2. Take two slices of bread, wholemeal or white. Butter one side of one of them and place the wet side, face down in the pan. Make sure you spread the butter right to the edges, and by the way, if you don't have butter, spread is fine.

3. Take 1 teaspoon of onion marmalade, and spread it over said slice.

4. On top of that, place thinly sliced pieces of quality French Brie, evenly spread out, not too close to the edges of the bread!

5. On to that goes a small handful of fresh rocket leaves, and a dollop of good mayonnaise.

6. Take that second slice and butter one side, and put a thin smear of French mustard on the other. The mustard is optional btw, if you use it make sure its just a hint, this isn't a f*cking hot dog you know.

7. Close the sandwich, ensuring the mustard is on the inside and the butter on the outside.

8. Whack on the hob and cook each side until nicely brown, flipping over with a spatula.

Hey presto! Halve and eat.

Note to meat eaters: Benugo's used to offer a version with bacon, although I can't vouch for its tastiness. Please let me have any feedback if you try it!

Star Trek

Sci Fi recently started repeating Star Trek, the original sixties series at 7pm every week day. Hel and I decided to tune in and have watched it every day since. They are playing them from the beginning, in new remastered prints. I had forgotten how good these stories were, well written, great character plots and stories, really imaginative, thought provoking stuff. Of course some of the slightly 60's attitudes prevail, especially regarding the role of a woman in society, but beyond that, in a sociological sense, they are ahead of their time with their messages. After the dross that was Star Trek in its later years, its hard to remember what it started out as, before it went like all the worse US sci fi series, 'US marines in space, whupping alien butt'.

Classic stuff.

Sunday Sun

So, the weekend continued after Englands defeat at the hands of Portugal with an excellent episode of Doctor Who, with one of the best cliffhangers ever, and a Sunday visit from a couple of old friends. Gary and Mark were making their way home to Borehamwood from Stafford and popped by to spend some time with us. Unfortunately, our sunday roast seemed a little out of place because the temperatures soared to the very late twenties, early thirties! But no matter, after Hel's superlative Custard tart and now legendary Tiramasu, we retired to the decking where we all baked for the next 7 hours, lubricated only by copius quantities of Moscow Mule - aka vodka and ginger beer! It didn't touch the sides, believe me. The company was good yet again and when they left I think everyone was happy, although we didn't quite manage to convince them to take Mindy!

Pizza = cheese & tomato on bread base

Had a really good long weekend just gone. The sun was blazing here in the UK, and Hel and I had a fun packed weekend. I took Friday off and trundled down to London to stay at Oboe and David's house, they'd very very generously agreed to put up with me for 24 hours and generally use their house like a hotel so that I could meet up with old school pal James 'Cherry Nose' Willis. James was over in the UK for a few days, so we met up for a drink or two and a bite to eat.

James and I were very good friends when we were in our late teens, and spent a lot of time together, but we kind of drifted apart a bit through the college years. Then he buggered off to live in Chicago, where he picked up a thick US accent (totally the opposite of Rich, who has maintained his British accent) . I haven't seen a huge amount of him over the past decade, but its great to catch up with him once or twice every year.

We went for a pizza after drinks, to a place in Covent Garden called Fire & Stone. Its a pizza place and what attracted me were the excellent reviews and the fact that they have 'exotic' toppings, based on the continent's and regions of the world. I plumbed for an ozzy one, with spuds, sour cream, pesto and onion marmalade on it. I had high hopes. Now, I'm a fairly easy going kind of guy, with broad tastes and I like to try new things. Unfortunately on this occasion, I was forced to leave abusive notes for the chef. Something about intercourse and onion jam.

Experimentation and fusion is all well and good, but if it tastes like crap, well, what's the point? Its things like this that make you realise that at 32, you're becoming conservative in your old age when you are adamant to the point of curmudgeonlyness, that pizza is baked dough, topped with tomato and cheese. I'm sorry, it just is and I don't care what the yoot say.

Anyway, regardless of the food, it was a good catchup and we had a good laugh. The evening was but young though, as Oboe was decent enough to keep me chatting till 1.30am! I was even lucky enough to read one of her manuscripts - quite a talented lady.

Of course,what I haven't told you is that she and David live immediately behind the studios where they film Eastenders, including the exterior sets for Albert Square. You can just glimpse some of it at the end of their road. What she didn't tell me, until we wandered into Tesco the following morning, is that Big Brother is filmed right next to the carpark. If I'd know, I'd have taken along a small thermo nuclear device.....

F*ck I hate that programme.